The Cabin - Scary Night 1

Josh has been wanting to go up to the cabin all winter. With the new baby, I have been a little hesitant. Not because I don't want to take her up there (we took Brayden when he was just 6 weeks old), it's just a lot of stress getting ready to go. We could barely fit everything in the car last summer when it was just 4 of us, so I knew we would have to give some of our stuff to our friends (Nick and Kesha) to take up for us. Ironically, this was the easiest time I've ever had to pack everything and get ready. We've been up there enough times to know how to simplify everything and just take the bare minimum. Miraculously, I got everything to fit in our car and off we went!

We finally got everything and everyone snowmobiled into the cabin by about 10:30. The cabin was pretty cold, so we had the 4 kids sitting on the couch snuggling in blankets while they watched Mickey Mouse so we could get all the beds ready. Kesha gave the kids a bag of goldfish crackers to snack on while they watched. I'm borrowing what happened next from Kesha's blog:

"Brayden, Boston, Brooklyn and Easton were all sitting on the couch together huddled in blankets and eating goldfish.  Easton has a habit of putting something in his mouth, storing it in his cheeks and does this repeatedly until he has waaaay tooo much food in his mouth.  I heard him crying from the other room. I ran into the room to see what happened.  Easton had started crying and I think when he started crying, may have choked on his crackers.  All of the sudden, he turned blue - face was blue/purple and lips were.  His eyes were glazed over and he was not getting any air.  I panicked and started screaming.  My Grandpa Walker taught CPR at the Red Cross for years and years - he has shown us numerous times how to do it.  I definitely need more practice and it's time for another trip to his house and maybe a class or two to refresh my memory so if this situation happens again ... I can be calm and do what I need to do. 

Nick raced in and took over.  He was wacking him on the back.  Shantelle came upstairs and was so calm and helped Nick out with trying to dislodge the crackers.  Shantelle seemed to think he was not breathing for about 45 seconds but to me it felt like an eternity. I felt so helpless at that moment and thought I was losing my child up there ... we were too far away to call 911 or have anyone else help.  We had to do something and it wasn't working.  I was staring at his lifeless body, purple face, and rolling eyes and so many thoughts were going through my head at the moment.  Nick finally pounded his back and the crackers became dislodged.  Relief.  I felt like I had lived one of my worst nightmares of something bad happening to my child.  I am just glad he finally started breathing.  Nick and I spent the rest of the night watching his pale face finally return to normal. We just held him and thanked Heavenly Father that we still had him with us.  I know there were angels there that night helping us out in the cabin!!  I am so grateful for my little family and am realize that I take the most important things in my life for granted sometimes.  That next day, I definitely said "I love you" more and held the boys and Nick a little tighter!  I am glad that Easton is okay and stopped choking.  It was a scary situation."

This experience affected the rest of our weekend. We couldn't help but think about all the what if's had we not been able to dislodge the crackers. I couldn't get the sounds of Kesha's panicked voice out of my head all weekend, and still can't. It's hard to watch your worst nightmare unfold right in front of you. I was deeply impacted by that night and it was a good reminder of how precious life is. I'm having a really hard time with Brooklyn right now as she is going through a dramatic terrible two's stage. I am trying to be more patient with her and am trying to enjoy every moment, everyday.