Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Little Samantha - Saying Goodbye Part 2

Wednesday afternoon Josh and I were able to go down to the hospital to say our final goodbyes with Sammie. On Monday we had spent about 45 minutes with her, so we knew we didn't need a lot of time but we wanted a final moment with her. She had looked so peaceful all week, and today was no different. She had her blanket and penguin with her from the beginning and we just kept waiting for her to wake up. 
 Josh and I spent about 25 minutes with Samantha as we talked about what a big part of our lives she was. We held her, kissed her, and cried. My heart just broke thinking about how it was humanly possible for my sister and her husband to have to say goodbye. I knew it was going to be so much harder for them, but it was hard to comprehend because I couldn't imagine how it could get any harder. Josh and I cried, and cried, as we held each other. It didn't seem real. We have hardly slept as we can't think of anything else but this little girl that has changed our lives in such a short time. We finally got the strength to leave the room as we had just experienced the hardest thing we have ever had to go through.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Little Samantha - Saying Goodbye

Tuesday evening we were able to take the kids to say goodbye to Sammie. They had been asking a lot of questions, but we hadn't really explained to them what was going on. So before we loaded into the van, we sat the kids down and explained that Sammie was going to go to heaven. Brayden broke down and got very emotional. Brooklyn started asking a lot of questions. When we got to the hospital we were able to take the kids in to see Sammie one at a time. We started with Brooklyn. She was really sweet and tender at the beginning as Rachelle explained what all the tubes were for. She was able to touch her hand, toes, and give her a kiss. After a few minutes she started getting uncomfortable and started giggling as a way of coping with it. So we took her out and then brought in Brayden. He was very unsure about everything with the tubes everywhere, but he was really sweet and gave her lots of hugs. Brynlee was really uncomfortable and didn't really recognize Samantha. She squirmed a lot and didn't want to get too close. As soon as we left she started asking about Sammie again, so we know she knew it was her.
Taking the kids was one of the most heartbreaking things we experienced. Our kids have become Samantha's siblings, and although our kids didn't quite understand what was going on...we did. We knew that our life would never be the same without her running through our house following the kids around. We knew that little Brynlee was losing her best friend. We knew that there would be no more playdates for Brooklyn and Samantha...who always played the best together. Josh and I couldn't control our emotions very well as tried to help the kids understand.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Little Samantha - The Beginning

Our world got turned upside down on February 21, 2013. I was sitting on the couch by the piano when Sean rushed upstairs with Samantha gasping for air. Apparently she choked on a little green pea downstairs. They did the heimlich and she started crying and breathing, but couldn't catch her breath. They decided to run her to the Instacare down the street. As they rushed through, I could see her little face turning blue. They forgot to take their phones with them, so for the next 3 hours Josh and I were sick to our stomachs as we waited to find out what was going on. On the way to the Instacare Samantha stopped breathing and went limp. Rachelle started CPR in the car, then rushed her into the Instacare where the doctors continued CPR and called 911. The paramedics showed up and were finally able to find a faint heartbeat by the time they loaded her on the life flight helicopter. Rachelle and Sean then headed down to Primary Children's Hospital to meet up with Samantha. As soon as the helicopter landed they took her straight to the operating room where they were able to determine that the pea she choked on ended up in her lung. They were able to remove it and sent her to the Pediatric ICU where Sean and Rachelle were able to finally see her.

Rachelle was finally able to find a phone and find my phone number to let us know what was going on. I gave her my parent's number so she could call and talk to them. At this point they were waiting for her to come out of the anesthesia and wake up, so their spirits were pretty high. My parents immediately hopped in the car and headed to our house to grab their phones and a few other things for them and headed up to Primary's. Along with our bishop, they were able to give Samantha a blessing. As she was coming out of the anesthetic she started having seizures, so they had to give her a paralytic to keep her body from moving.

Friday morning they met with the neurologist and received some bad news. Her organs were looking good, but early tests were showing severe brain damage. They wouldn't know how bad until they were able to do an MRI on Monday. So for 3 days it was a lot of waiting. Sean's family all came up from Cedar City, and my family was able to visit all weekend. My sweet neighbors were so kind to take care of my kids so that Josh and I could be there as much as we could. Samantha made little improvements all weekend, giving Sean and Rachelle a lot of hope. But we all knew we had to wait until the MRI to really see what was going on.

Monday morning they were able to do the MRI at 9:30. By 12:30 the doctors were able to sit down with Sean and Rachelle to discuss Sammie's condition. It ended up being the worst case scenario...there was little to no brain activity. Her brain stem was still functioning, which is how she continued to breathe on her own, but the rest of her brain was not going to function again. The reality was that she would not be able to ever wake up. Josh and I immediately headed down to Primary's. Once we got there Sean and Rachelle sat and talked to all the family to explain that they had already made the decision that Samantha would not like to live the rest of her life in that state. So they would take her off the life support machines later in the week. This was very devastating to them as well as all of us family. We couldn't imagine life without little Sammie, as she had grown up in our home with us and our kids.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Brayden's Operetta

Brayden's Kindergarten did Peter Pan for their Operetta this year. Unfortunately, Brooklyn got sick the day of his performance so Josh had to stay home with her while I took Brynlee to watch it. He did SO good! He was George, Wendy's dad. He also had one of the closing narrator parts. It was hard taking care of Brynlee while trying to videotape and take pictures all at the same time. Here are a few pictures I took of him.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Valentines Day

Valentine's Day this year was a big bummer. I was on full bedrest for the week, which meant I wasn't able to get anything ready for the kids to our annual treasure hunt. I wasn't able to do a big chocolate fondue bar for Josh and me to enjoy after the kids went to bed. I had bought cards the week before, but I couldn't find them. Luckily Rachelle stopped by a store and grabbed a few things that I could give the kids. We ended up ordering Chinese food for dinner with Sean and Rachelle as well as Steve and Kay. Towards the end of dinner I had Josh ring the doorbell so the kids could run and find their "prizes" on the doorstep.
 This is how Brooklyn reacted bc she wanted the red balloon, not the pink one.
Josh brought be beautiful flowers and chocolate covered strawberries. So it was a nice evening, even under the circumstances.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Pregnancy Update - Bed Rest

So I went into my normal checkup at 31 weeks expecting everything to go the same as always. My dr. was out of town, so his nurse and a nurse practitioner were taking care of his patients. Everything started off normal, then I started asking the nurse questions about contractions. My dr. has been monitoring them ever since they started to get pretty intense at the beginning of January. I just couldn't remember how many per hour warranted a call to the dr. The nurse asked details about the contractions I was having and ended up asking the nurse practitioner what she thought. They ended up ordering a urine test, which tested positive for a bladder infection. No big deal. I came back 2 hrs later to run a more thorough test. On the way out I asked the nurse practitioner if the infection was anything I needed to worry about. She said no, but decided to check me anyway to just make sure everything was ok. wasn't. I had started dilating and softening. So we had to come back 2 hrs later for an ultrasound to see how thick the cervix still was. Everything went well with the ultrasound and the nurse sent me home telling me to take it easy. The next morning the nurse practitioner called me and told me that the nurse that sent me home was wrong, and that I needed to be on full bed rest until my dr. got back in town and could reassess how big of a risk we were for having the baby early. What a long week! It was difficult emotionally, worrying about the baby coming early. Physically it started out fine, but my body deteriorated quickly and I really was struggling by the end of the week. Luckily we have great family and neighbors that stepped in and helped with the kids and the upkeep of our house. Tuesday finally came and I was able to see my dr. He took me off full bed rest and changed it to light bed rest. It was nice to be able to drive the kids to school again and do light cleaning and upkeep of the house. I've still needed a lot of help, which my family and neighbors have continued to provide. Hopefully  everything continues to go well and the baby will stay in much longer!!!

Friday, February 8, 2013


Brynlee has been obsessed with bubbles lately, so I bought a bunch so they could each have their own and stop fighting over the one we have. They stood like this for probably 5 minutes blowing bubbles. Then, of course, Brynlee ended up with all 3 and naturally dumped them all out on my carpet. Awesome.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Photo Shoot Prep

My neighbor asked me to take pics of her 1 yr old, so while we were setting up the girls couldn't resist being my models.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Little Miss Muffet

For school Brooklyn had to dress up like a nursery rhyme. We looked through our book and she decided on  Little Miss Muffet. I should have taken a picture of the picture in the book, bc she looked just like her.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Jazz Clinic/Game

Brayden was able to attend a Jazz clinic as part of Jr. Jazz where he got to see Paul Millsap.
 He also got to go to a Jazz game. A guy Josh knows at work was able to get Brayden and his friend down on the court before the game. They got to give the players high 5's as they came out of the tunnel then got to watch them warm up. Brayden (and Josh) was in heaven!

Brayden's Last Basketball Game

Brayden has loved, loved, loved his Jr. Jazz. We have been waiting for years for him to finally be in his element. And although he is one of the smallest kids, he was by far one of the best players we saw on any team. He also got the only 2 fouls that were ever called :) He is a little aggressive. Congrats Brayden on such a good "season!"
 The girls "loved" coming and watching the game:

Friday, February 1, 2013

Crackers, Juice, and a Show

Once in a while, the kids do get along and have fun sometimes. They insisted on having a little "picnic" with their afternoon snack.